He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
