so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
