Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
