Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
