you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
