yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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