So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
