32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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