Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
