Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
bring money and cleavage
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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