Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
