Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
