I wish my penis had an off switch
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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