she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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