It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize