I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize