you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
