if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
