So drunk its hurt
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
