Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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