I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
foreskin is a definite game changer
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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