i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
