be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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