Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better

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  (732): note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better http://tfl.nu/x29k
  Replies (29) Good night (929) Bad night (4015)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob

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  (917): the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob http://tfl.nu/1gjp
  Replies (193) Good night (2485) Bad night (16148)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.

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  (360): Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk. http://tfl.nu/k2pc
  Replies (3) Good night (4371) Bad night (1518)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  no drinking for a week

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes

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  (512): no drinking for a week (1-512): if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes http://tfl.nu/kuw5
  Replies (4) Good night (2806) Bad night (738)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.

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  (+44): I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs. http://tfl.nu/qoq8
  Replies (7) Good night (2614) Bad night (639)
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  (078): View more from

  Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!

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  (078): Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?! http://tfl.nu/fofo
  Replies (9) Good night (1068) Bad night (998)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.

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  (801): When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw. http://tfl.nu/4mnb
  Replies (9) Good night (1209) Bad night (526)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.

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  (412): I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden. http://tfl.nu/eagc
  Replies (2) Good night (831) Bad night (442)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.

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  (859): You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep. http://tfl.nu/roy1
  Replies (5) Good night (1335) Bad night (557)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is cat milk safe for human consumption?

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  (215): Is cat milk safe for human consumption? http://tfl.nu/mjye
  Replies (6) Good night (335) Bad night (916)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.

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  (+27): This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud. http://tfl.nu/fqpz
  Replies (2) Good night (757) Bad night (411)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...

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  (541): Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings... http://tfl.nu/5e5f
  Replies (1) Good night (382) Bad night (682)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.

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  (832): Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties. http://tfl.nu/yjtl
  Replies (8) Good night (583) Bad night (758)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up

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  (913): as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up http://tfl.nu/p34w
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (252)
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  (415): View more from California

  You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.

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  (415): You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left. http://tfl.nu/1p43
  Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (191)

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