Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

My brain says no but my pants say off.

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(914): View more from New York

i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue

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(410): View more from Maryland

He asked if I wanted to "hang out"

(410): View more from Maryland

A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(207): View more from Maine

I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does

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(845): View more from New York

Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person

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(503): View more from Oregon

I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Locking that text forever.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm on the fast track to lesbian land

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