Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.

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  (913): your life is more of a joke than dina lohan. (1-913): if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan. http://tfl.nu/safo
  Replies (7) Good night (807) Bad night (1875)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Whats the glycemic index on semen?

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  (216): Whats the glycemic index on semen? http://tfl.nu/dx5r
  Replies (17) Good night (2814) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love

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  (214): She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love http://tfl.nu/tjul
  Replies (51) Good night (20152) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch

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  (917): its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch http://tfl.nu/4wbs
  Replies (4) Good night (5389) Bad night (854)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.

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  (386): It's like God was speaking to me through a penis. http://tfl.nu/n7ui
  Replies (12) Good night (3458) Bad night (1204)
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  (315): View more from New York

  why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?

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  (315): why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall? http://tfl.nu/qv4b
  Replies (9) Good night (1295) Bad night (4374)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.

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  (631): Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car. http://tfl.nu/iiqv
  Replies (4) Good night (801) Bad night (1544)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?

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  (612): just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately? http://tfl.nu/tgsa
  Replies (5) Good night (1023) Bad night (695)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?

  (613): View more from Ontario

  you're kidding right?

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  (416): Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow? (613): you're kidding right? http://tfl.nu/5c4n
  Replies (9) Good night (2873) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.

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  (209): Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before. http://tfl.nu/iyhk
  Replies (4) Good night (621) Bad night (1128)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.

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  (609): Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel. http://tfl.nu/x8kg
  Replies (24) Good night (1081) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you

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  (219): You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you http://tfl.nu/zonx
  Replies (8) Good night (1333) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.

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  (254): I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious. http://tfl.nu/40vt
  Replies (1) Good night (766) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.

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  (440): My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future. http://tfl.nu/caoj
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.

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  (216): I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week. http://tfl.nu/slhb
  Replies (3) Good night (358) Bad night (613)

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