so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I came home braless and wearing a tail....