I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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