He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
