We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
