I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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