We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
