Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
