I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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