in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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