I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
