First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
