he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
