Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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