is your mom at the bar?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
