By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
