You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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