you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
