you're like a bully in the Christmas story
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
