the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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