shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
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A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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