We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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