just come out here and I will go home with you...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
