she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
