Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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