Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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