a queef is a wish your heart makes.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
