All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
