And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hippo gnu deer
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
