So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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