dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I could fuck to npr.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
