You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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