I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize