So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
