So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Im part way to drunk.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
